Make it a point to never study anyone without the intent of learning from the experience. Most importantly, do not study anyone before you have mastered your own train of thought. How can you measure another person’s growth, and you have no understand of your own incompetence. The reality is, it is easier to fix what is going on around you, rather than to start by fixing yourself first.
Two years ago, I stopped offering my opinion. I began watching people close to me spiral out of control. I realized, they were not listening to my advice, and I was wasting my brain cells trying to find resolutions for people who simply were not seeking answers to their problems. Before, when I commented, I would hear them tell others that I thought I knew everything.
Once I stopped putting my two cents in, they began to judge me for not having any suggestions because I felt my assistance was above them. I was perplexed at first, because I could not fathom how someone who criticized my ideas initially, and would never utilize them, was now upset that I was silent when they were stuck in the same situation for the third time.
Two things happened to me when I decided to stop offering my input. It forced me to concentrate more on myself and my internal thoughts. It forced me to free up space in my mind to do meaningful self-evaluations. It forced me to have a prolific understanding of what happens when you grow. I was able to confirm that people will leave you when you grow, and you will start to question your own existence versus what you’ve been told.
It is impossible to welcome growth in your own life, when you refuse to focus all of your efforts on trying to convince another person to change theirs. I slowly arrived at the conclusion that people do not need anyone else’s permission to grow. In fact, they will resent you for trying to help them grow, when they are not ready to make those personal changes.
